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Miru
hello hello~ Miru desu. I'm a Polish girl living in UK!!! but who am I actually?
*hair products maniac
*boyish
*pokemon
*genki
*prince ☆彡

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Sunday, 1 April 2012
It’s quite unusual for me to watch drama. Doesn’t matter if it’s Korean, Japanese, Chinese, Taiwanese or other. I just honestly DON’T LIKE THEM. But somehow I’ve found a drama that seemed to be interesting and I started watching it. And now, after the final episode I feel that I have to write more about it. Because simply, it’s just… life.

Have you ever laughed at someone? Because they’re “fat”, “ugly”, just “worse” than YOU? Or maybe you’ve seen other laughing at someone and just not giving them a tiny chance to live normally at school/work/any group? Probably yes. Destroying people can be so easy, and for some – even funny. Physically or mentally you can make someone die bit by bit. It happened to me too, I’ve been writing about it a few times. But let me tell you the whole thing on my example because in some way it reminds me of LIFE’s main character.

You’re 14 and your new school life starts. Of course that in your class there are people you don’t know. Maybe some of them you do know. But you’re frightened you won’t make any friends anyways. You just live your life and let everything go in it’s normal way. Of course, in every school is a STAR. Usually from a “good family” with lots of money, good grades and everybody wants to be their friend. If they start to talk with you one day – oh my God, what a happiness! You become friends, finally. You’re a friend of someone that amazing! Everything about them is perfect! They’re beautiful/handsome and everybody loves them. Sounds like a dream, eh?

But one day you tell them that there’s someone you might kinda like. A girl or a boy you really find attractive. And then they say “I know them! I will talk to them and see what’s going on!”. Nerves, nerves! What will happen?

The next day you go back to school normally. Your “star” isn’t there but one of their friends comes to you and says “X is really sorry, but they like the same person as you do. And of course Y choose X”. and your world is ruined. It may sound funny now, I know. Now when I’m 22 I probably would act different and just do different things. But then I was just 14 and my whole life was different. I told myself that it’s okay. Why would Y pick me, if they could pick X. X is so perfect and I’m nothing. I will try to be fine with it.

But somehow everything changes and you don’t know why. People are talking about you behind your back, laughing at you and slowly start to ignore you. What’s going on?! The “star”’s friends come to you and say ridiculous things as “you’ve pierced your tongue. Just like X, how dare you?! X was first and you’ve just copied their idea!!”. Hm, okay. I could live with that stupid people around me saying such things. But it wasn’t all.

It was getting worse day by day. I’ve become an alien to others. People were just staring at me, laughing at me, saying bad things about me. It was a nightmare. I didn’t want to go to school anymore. Even teachers were ignoring me because they also liked that star… the worst thing is that I’ve become really scared. X was also friends with a group of pretty famous at school but dangerous kids. If you’re not with them, you’re against them. And being against them means they could just break into your house when your parents weren’t there, ruin everything and scare you with their dogs (quite dangerous races as amstaff or however it’s spelled >.> ), cut your hair, beat you up and just have reallllyyyyy good fun of that. I didn’t want that to happen to me too. Once X invited me over to their house to talk. I was fucking scared but I agreed. A few months before that, X asked to borrow my fav plushie because they liked it. Stupid me, I agreed.. . And then she said my plushie (I still remember that bunny.. ) was ripped into pieces by their friend who doesn’t LIKE me. Wtf.

After that it’s become only worse. Teachers started really hating me, I had no one to talk to. Even my best friend was at X’s side. I was alone and my life turned into a real nightmare. I stopped going to school. I was just sitting at home, sleeping and doing nothing. I didn’t want to go back. And I was also scared I will fail the year finally. There was a lot of pain in my heart but then I thought it’s just me and my fault. That I’m the hopeless one. That I don’t deserve to live. I started cutting myself and thinking of my eventual suicide. It was like that for a month or two, I don’t really remember now. But one of my ex-friends who lived in the same block as me, told my mom about the whole cutting situation. She didn’t want to believe them because I’m fucking scared of needles and everything that could cut your skin. But when she asked me about that, I showed my wounds to her and she started crying. It was one of the worst moments in my life. I still feel so awful that I made my mom cry then. I don’t know what really happened, but it’s changed me. I didn’t care about the star anymore. I was going to the psychologist (which I lied to, but nvm) and to school and I even passed somehow. Some of my ex-friends finally noticed what X did to me and left her. Some of them still hate me after so many years. I’m kind of glad that after a year I moved out of that city.

Can you believe that after that (I was 16 then maybe..?) X wrote to me saying that I’m just a hopeless bitch because someone anonymously wrote something bad about them on their blog or somewhere else and X thought it was ME? Jesus Christ, it was so low! I remember I just told X that it’s childish and I have nothing against them, and why would I do something like that. Honestly, what the fuck is with them?!

*sighs*

If you’ve ever been bullied or maybe just was a witness of bullying someone, you should watch this drama and see what it could do to that person.

http://www.dramacrazy.net/japanese-drama/life/

everything like that can happen In your own life. Doesn’t matter if you’re a kid, teenager or an adult having a job etc. fight against bullying! It’s not easy, but don’t let people treat you like shit. You’re not a toy without feelings! Do something! Thanks to my mom I’m still here. And thanks to Dir en grey, haha. Because I’ve “discovered” them when I was 13 and from that time I was hoping to see them live at least once ne. so my mom and that dream pushed me away from the suicide.

Be strong and don’t let others to ruin yours or someone else’s life!

FIGHTO!

love,
Miru

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